Solitude In a Falling tear
by Alana Hikari-Chan
Summary: A rather odd Hiei-POV one shot with a lot of ansting, brooding, and a nice fluffy end. R-R!


My first stab at a YYH fanfic. GO! REI ENPITSU! *Cackles madly* ... ... ... ... If you aren't scared yet, read on to this (hopefully) good Hiei-chan POV fluffy-angst-romance-annoyance-thing. BTB, shounen-ai content if you tilt your head and squint. If ya don't like, don't read.  
  
Warnings: Hiei brooding. And brooding some more. Then getting angry at Kurama. Also, mention of The Person That Everyone Wants To Hurt, Kuwabara.  
  
Kuwabara: HEY! My beloved Yukina doesn't want to hurt me! *To Yukina* Do you?  
  
Yukina: Of course not, Kazuma-san! Hurting people is bad! *Big innocent eyes*  
  
Kuwabara: Oh, yes, of course! Whatever you say, Yukina! ^_^  
  
Riiight. -_-;; Ahou carrot-top.  
  
Disclaimer: I own Hiei! So NYAH! *Huggles bishounen* And my good friend Sarah owns her Damn Sexy Fox, so if you want to sue, go after her. I'm sure you could get about ten of her seventy-some Furbies. *Grin* And as for everyone else... Mweh, who cares?  
  
Translations for the Ignoranium Dubsters:  
  
Youkai: Demon  
  
Baka: Idiot/moron/stupid/ect.  
  
Ningen: Human  
  
Kitsune: Fox  
  
Nani?: What?  
  
Che: damn  
  
##########  
  
Solitude in a Falling Tear  
  
##########  
  
now you are watchin' us outside the circle  
  
wanna be in the company  
  
boy, but you are lonely  
  
dance with nobody  
  
run away child, to your hiding place  
  
'in the land of twilight, under the moon' .hack//SIGN  
  
##########  
  
I hate it when this happens.  
  
I'll just be sitting in a tree, during one of those spells of my existence when nothing's happening and no one is really after me, and I'll be stupid enough to think about my past.  
  
I am a complete idiot. My past is behind me. Everything I've ever done, and everything that has happened to me, is in the past. I should just learn from my mistakes, ignore the rest, and move on. But there are a few things that won't get out of my mind, even if they did happen years ago. And they still hurt.  
  
I watch as another black gem falls down through the pink and maroon leaves. I am weak.  
  
I am weak for still being pained for things I cannot reverse, things I could not stop, things I had no part in. I am weak because I care. And I am weak for showing my weakness, even if it is only to a sakura tree.  
  
I hate my tear gems.  
  
They shouldn't exist. I should not cry. Ever. Not from physical pain, not from the pain of the mind I should not posses but can not banish. I should not exist, a halfling fire demon with a koorime mother. A fire demon with a soul of ice. It was only by some cruel twist of fate that I was born- a cruel twist of fate that I did not perish when thrown from the floating Island- That I was not killed by some barbarian Youkai looking for an easy meal. Instead, I survived long enough to fight- kill- hurt- pain...  
  
Cry.  
  
The last black gems falls from my face, and I rapidly wipe away the remaining wetness. It should never be there, so it is best to act as if it does not exist. Leaping from my cherry blossom tree, I bend down to collect the small black diamonds scattered on the grass, the proof of my weakness.  
  
"Hello, Hiei. How are you?"  
  
Idiot! How could I not notice Kurama nearby?! I manage not to show surprise as I turn around to face him, but I have to leave half the gems on the ground. I unobtrusively slip the ones I did collect into my pocket.  
  
Kurama is twirling a pink rose idly through his graceful fingers, and he smiles THAT smile. The one only he can pull off.  
  
As I said. I am weak because I care. I may never show it, but I do.  
  
He's talking to me, something about a meeting at Yusuke's house. I nod when he finishes, and he smiles again.  
  
I let out a soft "hn" as Kurama drapes an arm around me. I dislike it when he does that- although it is more the idea than the action which disturbs me. If I were someone else, I might enjoy his casual closeness. But I can not allow anyone to be close to me. Not even family.  
  
Especially not family. They only betray you in the end.  
  
Now the fox is talking of that thing called 'school' he must attend each day. Something about the hordes of girls that follow him around all day, stealing pencils to put into their ridiculous shrines. Baka ningens. Leave my baka kitsune alone.  
  
I allow my mind to wander, even though I know you should never let your guard down around anyone. That is something about Kurama that annoys me. He always puts you at ease, makes you comfortable, so that you forget to be cautious. And I can not afford to be unaware. What if the person who had sneaked up on me had not been an ally, but an enemy instead? I might well have been injured or killed. Although most enemies tend to cackle loudly as they attempt to kill you.  
  
That REALLY annoys me. What sort of self-respecting youkai would just burst out laughing as they sneak up on you, alerting you to their presence? Or just laugh as they lose, claiming that they are invincible, and then 'kicking the bucket' as Yusuke would say. Those baka ningens have some very strange phrases, and many do not make sense for what they refer to.   
  
Something Kurama says startles me out of my wandering thoughts, and I jerk my head around.  
  
"NANI?!" Kuwabara is DEAD when I find him!  
  
The fox chuckles. "Just seeing if you were paying attention. He wasn't REALLY making out with Yukina."  
  
I glare in annoyance at Kurama. "Che. Baka kitsune."  
  
He laughs. Laughs! Kurama is audacious enough to LAUGH at me! If he were not my fr- no, ally, he would be dead right now. A smear on the ground.  
  
As he takes a look at my face, another wave of laughter bursts from his lips.  
  
No. Death is too good for him.  
  
"Hiei..." Kurama gasps for breath, doubling over in laughter. Since his arm is still draped around my shoulders, he drags me along. "... You looks so... so adora..."  
  
Far, FAR too good for him.  
  
"So ADORABLE when you're angry!"  
  
I wonder how long someone would live if you feed them some life energy as you cut their guts out?  
  
He tugs one of the bangs that fall in front of my headband, straightening back up. "Come on, Hiei, we're supposed to be at Yusuke's apartment already."  
  
I glower at him. I can not allow myself to be close to anyone, but he always seems to force the issue.  
  
But then...  
  
I hear the slight clink of gems in my pocket.  
  
It might be nice never to have those fall from my eyes ever again. Never again to cry in the solitude of a tree, for I wouldn't be in solitude.  
  
Nice to know that I could show how weak I am to someone.  
  
Maybe the someone right next to me.  
  
##########  
  
Aww... *Floating in a pool of fluff* Kawaii...  
  
Well, I liked that. ^_^ You could tell me how much YOU like it, too! Or bash me over the head with a frying pan, if you want to. ^_^ Just click that little button- you know, the purple one- and say whatever. It would be nice if you did it right now, actually.  
  
Ja ne! 


End file.
